A few months ago,I took a break from writing for Consciousness to go on a journey of self discovery and re-evaluation.This was a discovery of my intellectual abilities, nourishing my spiritual malnutrition and a space to explore other opportunities in the sphere of my interests.This break gave me time and space to consider the contributions and conversations I had been having all along and develop my knowledge from there.A time of introspection.We go through life like rolling stones.The world and life is a complex spaces of grey,nothing’s black and white.This mixed stew of wonder and marvel has positioned humans at a point of uncertanity.We are all in pursuit of different things.In pursuit of knowledge,happiness,wealth,peace,enjoyment etc.We all trudge our individual path and some live to tell their tale as everyone weaves their life and with every rich tapestry reflects a dream,hope,mindset,experience and reality.
I’m not unique in that regard.I’m driven by a need to accumulate knowledge and wealth,contribute positively to the development and upliftment of my community and society,exhaust my abilities and talents and leave a legacy through my positive deeds and products of my reproduction.Moving to that space of awareness that makes all this possible is a sobering experience that can bring you to have intense conversations with your Higher power and be forced to engage the people around you in deeper conversations that have a more profound effect and value than worldly clutter.This brought me to looking deeper at the issue of ‘being’.These are not issues that people want to normally engage or think about.The thing is, if you assume such issues burden you,the worldly issues burden you more.People have an unhealthy need to be right,to create impressions,to prove,to show off,entertain useless emotions,thoughts,deeds etc.These are as burdensome,and perhaps more, than just being and existing on solid principles and values.I have always been amused by humans ability to consciously and selectively destruct themselves.
This includes myself.I’ve been a smoker for almost seven years,and despite this I always thought I had the right to judge and analyse other deeds I felt are wrong and destructive without considering that I was the same.How different is a smoker from one who commits abortions, is promiscuous, an alcoholic,violent,emotionally irrational,religiously consumes meat,pollutes the earth etc.Their actions are all corrupt and self destructive.As human beings we have mastered the fickle art of protecting our own interests and deeds by pushing others down.This is dumb psychological manipulation that makes us feel better about our own wrongs-the voice of the conscience.
If you look at it all from an objective point you realise that we are all caught up in a system that has enslaved us.A system of prejudice,abuse,blame,self hate etc that places emphasis on race,gender,tribe,personality,habit and not on being human.It continously tells us we are not fine,that we need to change ourselves and erode our sense of being to be complete. This frustration makes it easier for us to destruct ourselves,considering that the “third forces” benefit from this.
How many parties benefit from a smoker’s habit?The manufacturers.The sellers.The transport,storage and logistics companies.The doctors and pharmaceutical companies.
Even the government.Now,imagine introducing yourself to this habit and being such a slave.You are a commodity to all the above parties.You are like a cow that is artificially bred and killed for human consumption.
The only difference is that you “die alive”.I can give many other prominent examples of this cycle of self destruction; alcohol abuse,consumption of unhealthy food,especially meat and junk,the obsession with sex and sexual activity,especially with multiple partners,standing for one purpose or the other,in bias eg radical belief in racial or religious superioty.etc.
What disturbs me more is the prevalent abuse of alcohol among blacks.Blacks were dicouraged from drinking(western alcohol) for many years but are now the biggest consumers of alcohol to the point that drinking has been turned into a hobby/activity and a culture with it’s own past and future,not as a civilised activity of having a refreshing moment of enjoying a glass beer or whisky.The consumption of alcohol in the African communities is the biggest example and reflection of how blacks seem to have the natural ability to destruct themselves.A lot of blacks have and continue to die from alcohol related or influenced mishaps like car accidents,sexual disease,liver and brain disease etc.The deaths of stupidity where even innocent people are victims and government is forced to care for people who messed themselves up.Alcohol is not the only enslavement,I believe you can think of other examples.
These thoughts are within my realms.I am aware that I cannot beat this system that has enslaved almost the whole world,myself included.
These conversations I had with myself were summarised by interacting with Bra Zim,a respected jazz musician.As an elder and someone who’d travelled the world and lived through experiences of sorts,I knew for sure he understood what he was discussing
We are whores of negativity that doesn’t contribute to our development and betterment.Perhaps that’s another reason why Africa has been a mixed pot of political and social stagnation,underdevelopment and an array of social ills.There is a need to go back to basics and return to ourselves,as human beings.Not as blacks,whites,Zulus,Sothos,Indians,hippies, hip hoppers,conservatives,liberals etc but as human beings.
We need to create that space of being and making peace with ourselves,others and the world we exist in.We have fucked up enough.Currently,we are causing a racket crying about climate change but we are not paying attention to our contribution to the slow death of the earth,humanity and animal kingdom.It’s like people who get shocked when they suffer the consequences of their deeds,thoughts and actions.We have killed the very earth that gave us life and a place of existence.We did to it what we constantly do to ourselves.It’s mind boggling and frustrating at the same time.
In the past,I have always maintained that as people we were still primitive in many more ways than one.We still are,but I forsee(I’m not a psychic but a spiritual healer) a shift in humanity.We will soon be moving to a new space of awareness and consciousness.That is somehow beginning to happen with people focusing more on their health(effort to consume natural healthy food,becoming vegetarian,investing in physical health and weight management) for genuine reasons,making efforts to change their lifestyles to help curb climate change,concentration on spiritual and emotional existence and challenging cultural and religious beliefs that have done more to hurt and retard the world than elevate it.
It’s for this reason that I have decided to be born again. A born again me who decides their own destiny or,fate,beliefs and reality.A new me who nourishes,protects myself,others and the earth I exist in.Who finds healthy and undestructive ways to celebrate life,joys,pains and myself.A new me who identifies herself as a human being.A person who’ll be able to learn and know without being enslaved.To be in touch with myself and the world without losing my human and individual essence.For many generations,humans have overburdened themselves.
It’s time to step back and return to ourselves.This to me,is Consciousness.
- A question of power
Both by Bessie Head