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"I am a little bit of everything all rolled into one.I am a lover,I am a child, I am a mother,I am a sinner, I am a saint. I do not feel ashamed.I am your hell, I am your dream, I am nothing in between." "I am the past you know nothing bout. The future you cannot ignore."

Sex – the introduction

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Sex is a word that ignites many thoughts, emotions, prejudices etc. As people, when something makes us uncomfortable, we either laugh about it or create a taboo around it. Considering the overpopulation of the world, perhaps we must accept that sex does make the world go round. It is, undeniably, an integral part of our lives. We live in a sexified society. Sex sells. Marketers and advertisers continue to capitalize on this seemingly human weakness, even though it disturbs me that it does so by making women tools of sexual persuasion and lust. As much as some would be indifferent to sex, it plays a major role in our lives. Here I will be addressing those who have been open minded enough to embrace that they are sexual beings without the limitations of cultural, patriarchal, religious, dogmatic or prejudiced thought. We have to be honest with ourselves.

Mind you there is idealism and then there’s reality. This is reality. This is the real world. As much as we would like to live in a space of loyalty, happiness and comfort, that is not real. The only person you can entirely trust is yourself. You must put yourself first. Surely you have heard stories of people being cheated on, getting HIV/AIDS, contracting STIs and the lot. It’s debatable whether human beings are polygamous by nature, even though I personally am of that view. I also believe sex touches many more parts of our lives than we have discovered. A classic example is the fact that a sexually active person who does not “get it good” tends to develop “an attitude”. I will be bold enough to admit that sex is my energy point. Yes,I would die without it. It’s a beautiful act that should be treated as such.
Being sexually active comes with responsibility. It affects all spheres of your being…spiritual, emotional, mental and physical. Sex,apart from music is the one thing that makes human beings elevate to a higher space of being,where they are stripped of any prejudices they may have and are at one with themselves.This is a point when you are exposed as you dwell in the moment.
t is unfortunate that it has been reduced to thrusts that lack meaning and passion.I will explore the whole idea of sexuality in a broader sense but for now I am going to highlight the most important elements about sexuality which are also contributing factors to a healthy and satisfactory sex life.

Know yourself sexually

Take a mirror and look.Stare if you will.Touch.carress.Explore.That is your body and you must know all the parts on it.Own them and familiarize yourself with them,It will make it easier for you to know what makes  you happy and doesn’t.How do you allow someone to trespass your body and own it when you don’t?Conscious reader,the first step to self love and exploration is owning yourself.

Figure your sexual needs

Why do you want to have sex? To “keep”  someone? Be liked? Get favours? Will this matter down the line? Can you live with it for the rest of your life? What about your pleasure and satisfaction? I am open to the fact that sex does not always happen between two people who love each other but irregardless, whenever someone engages in sexual activity, they must be honest with themselves and the person(people) they do it with. As much as we would not want to admit it,emotions and trust can cloud things, especially where females are involved.Why?Because sex is a soul matter,it’s deeper than the gratification we have become acquainted with.

Choose contraceptive wisely

You are responsible for what happens in your life. Blaming other people will not work at the most of times. Learn. Ask, read and research. There is information everywhere, it is just that some people are ignorant of it. Visit your clinic or doctor and communicate with those people who’s job is to help you. The time you can spend at the bar or in front of the television is the same time you can use to invest in your health, safety and developments. Condoms, loops, pills are some of the contraceptives easily available.I encourage condoms.The risk of HIV and STIS are minimal.The pill and all are ok as back up,but you can get HIV and AIDS.No contraceptives are 100 percent reliable so we must be mature enough to deal with the consequences of our actions.Every woman needs a good gynae and every man needs a good doctor.Mind you one thing you are never told is that sex is financially expensive too.You have to pay for services and contraceptives or you can simply use government facilities.

Stay healthy

The usual.Eat right,exercise,drink lots of water,limit lifestyle habits like alcohol and smoking.If you can break into a five minute sprint without feeling like you are about to die,you are probably healthy.If you feel and look good,your confidence is enhanced and you will enjoy your sex life and be more attractive to your partner.Being healthy also allows you to be focused and disciplined in the decisions you make.A healthy mind,soul and bosy contribute to healthy sexuality.

With these main pointers you can start from basics and embrace yourself.
Next issue I will delve into sex tips for men and women and we can explore the world of sexuality as a whole.Please email me any sexuality myths you know to keletso@consciousness.co.za and we will explore and discuss them on this page.

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